Consistency

"Trust is built with consistency." by Lincoln Chafee

I find this to be true over and over again.  Consistency coupled with respect is a very powerful combination when it comes to building trust. It is important for others to know where they stand with you and what they can expect, especially with children. It also helps you be clear where you are.

Logic & Imagination

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." by Albert Einstein

Funny how many of us rely on logic when imagination is limitless. Whenever you feel limited, use your imagination. You logic can help you achieve your dreams, but you first need to dream it for it to be a possibility.  :)

Teacup

Teaching and learning can only occur when the recipients head is open to what is being said. If the head is already full of other ideas, it cannot receive any new input.  It is like filling a tea cup that is already filled with tea with more tea. Since it is already at full capacity it cannot hold any more.

Today, check your tea cup.  Is it overflowing or is there room for new ideas and thoughts? Make space if needed. It will be a refreshing change to get some new tea in it.  :)

Flexibility

"Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind." by Bruce Lee

Flexibility is a wonderful trait/skill. It eases your passage through life immensely and opens you up to many possibilities you might have never dreamed of. It helps you go with the flow of life.  :)

Soul Growth

What if you had no bonds? No expectations to live up to? No dependents in your life? What if you only had to listen to your inner compass?  What would you do? What would your call be?

Put all thoughts aside and work on answering these questions.  It doesn't mean that you need to drop your life as is. Help yourself become aware of who YOU are and what you are all about. What is your essence? What would your soul like to experience for its growth?

Your Reality

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." by Khalil Gibran

Your perspective and perception are key factors when it comes to your personal experience of life. The good news is that when you become aware of this, you have the power to change perspective and to create a new reality for yourself if that is what you wish to do. Though nothing might change externally you can choose your reality.

Nature & You

Pay attention to the environment you live in today, in particular the type of nature that is close to you. What does it do for you? How does it make you feel? How does it nurture or influence you?

For example, when I am in the mountains, my energy gets recharged.  When I am near a large body of water my emotions become more pronounced and closer to the surface helping me release/work through them. When I am in the country I get grounded. When I am in the forest a sense of peace settles over me and I feel whole.

YOUR Choices

You need to live your life as you feel it, as you see it. Sure, others may or may not agree with you and thus also judge you, but only you live in your shoes.  Only you can decide what is best for you. No matter how odd or unconventional your choices are, they are YOUR choices.  As long as you are in conscious accord with them, nothing else matters.

Step Outside The Lines

Often your thoughts are bound by the norms and standards you have grown up with, even if your gut is telling you to do something differently. Stepping outside of the lines can thus be scary or uncomfortable at first. Amazingly though, once you dare to venture outside of those lines. it can also bring you new levels of peace and understanding.

Test your limits once in a while - step outside the lines and see what it is like. Take little steps if it is too unsettling and remember: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  :)

Celebrate Life

Just as grieving is part of the moving on process as someone passes over, so is celebrating the loved one's life. As they move on to the other side, they don't want to see you suffering and pining for what cannot be anymore.  Acknowledging that they have moved on and being thankful for all that was, all the experiences and moments shared, all the wonderful memories, gives both you and the being that has passed the okay to move on and to be at peace.

You will always be energetically connected.  That is untouchable by death since we are all energy. Through death we discard the body, and the soul lives on. Celebrating life honors what was and still is. It honors the everlasting bond of love.

New Memories

One of the things that helps you get over grief are new experiences. Everyday that passes you gain new memories, memories of your new life without the physical presence of your loved one. Somehow you survive and move on. And the wonderful thing is that it is ok.

You can feel deep grief and great joy all in one day.  They do not have to be mutually exclusive. Maybe because you loose deeply you can also gain highly.

Through new experiences you move forward and are not stuck in your sadness. Instead the sadness comes with you on your continued journey, like a backpack full of food that you eat along the way (=facing your sadness) and once digested you let go of (=working through and letting go of your sadness), until it is all gone.

Make space for new experiences. They help the healing process.

Closure

Tonight Rudy's ashes finally made it back home giving us the possibility to come to closure with his earthly passing. Though it is a tough topic it makes you wonder about what you would like to have done with your body once it is your time to move on.

This is obviously a very personal decision, nevertheless one that you should gain clarity on sooner, rather than later. Life is a gift, and it can be over in the blink of an eye, as I just experienced. Decide now, while you are healthy, while you have time.

Another Side Of Anger

If you don't have or take enough time to grieve or deal with energy draining emotions, you will get angry and snap at others.  There is only so much you can take on at one time, and anger, in this case, is a protective mechanism.  What you are doing is saying: "Stay away from me!  I can't handle any more!".

Though it may not at all be your normal way of being, it does serve a purpose. The snapping is out of your control - it is an instinctual, protective mechanism. But you can acknowledge you are at your limit right after it happens both to yourself and the recipient of your outburst and then make appropriate adjustments.  You are only human after all and everyone experiences this state of being once in a while.  :)

Grief

Grief and the sadness associated with it comes in waves. When you feel it coming, the natural reaction is to brace yourself.  You tense up and try to fight the wave.  This actually makes the whole process a lot worse. For me, I realized, it was the fear of the pain being too intense and that I wouldn't be able to bear it that kept me paralyzed.

Since I do blog a lot about facing your fears, I took heart, found my courage somewhere, started literally breathing the fear away when it started building and consciously opened myself to the wave of grief that then came. The tears started flowing and the cleansing began. It hurt, yes, but what took me by surprise was that it was 1) not devastating when I didn't fight it and 2) it was actually healing and felt liberating once it had passed.

Every time is becoming a little easier and I am becoming more aware of when I start not wanting to face something, because I start feeling tense and want to run away. I then look at my fear, breathe, tell myself it will be ok and open up to it again.  A lot of tears and emotions, but I can feel my heart mending again. I am starting to feel the joy again both with what was and what is now.

Life And Death

Life is unpredictable.  It happens, whether you are trying to figure it out or not, whether you are ready for it or not. Though we aren't always able to see the bigger picture, and what happens doesn't seem fair or make any sense, life does go on. You have many choices nevertheless.

Death is a part of life. It is part of the cycle. Learning to accept it equally to birth is a challenge. Both events change lives drastically. You learn to adjust and accept, to love and embrace, to receive and to give, to live and let go. All of it enriches your life, even your sadness and grief. It means that your loved one was indeed deeply loved.

Though death is final to the body, the spirit/soul lives on and that spirit/soul wants you not to be sad for too long. After all "death ends a life, not a relationship" as quoted by Robert Benchley. It lives on on an energetic plane.

Making Tough Choices

When you have to make the decision to let a loved one go, in my case my beloved dog, it doesn't matter what you choose - feelings of guilt will always enter your mind and heart. You will start to wonder and ponder all you have done or not done, dissect all the choices you have made and judge yourself for it. This causes incredibly unbearable pain, helplessness and despair that is mostly self induced.  There is never a clear cut perfect answer to such a complex decision and the reality of it all is that you did the best you could in the moment based on all the experiences you have accumulated throughout your life and your gut feel.

No matter how pure your intentions, the little nagging voice still appears.  The best thing you can do is to leave the past in the past, forgive yourself for anything you might have done better and praise yourself for the courage you have shown and the good you have done. When you clear out this cloud of self judgement, you can start getting centered again and facing the physical loss of the one you loved as well as feeling their new energy form. I can feel my buddy with me and I am thankful for his presence. While I was in the cloud of self judgement I couldn't sense him. While I miss his physical presence terribly, I do find comfort in his energetic presence. Though I know his energy won't be here forever (he does need to move on too) it does ease the pain of the sudden loss and it is balm for my shattered heart.

Rudy

Today my heart broke into a million pieces when I had to let my beloved dog, Rudy, go. All I can do is let the pain wash over me in waves and trust he is in peace. There are moments when I can feel his presence and feel peaceful. Hopefully, in time, I will get used to the absence of his physical presence.

I have been blessed to have received such deep, unconditional love, loyalty, and devotion. Thank you Rudy for having been in my life on this plane and continuing to be there in another. We'll be together again someday. I love you.

Choices

I was listening to a fiction book ("Shabanu - Daughter Of The Wind" by Suzanne Fisher Staples) today where a wise woman was telling her niece: "As long as you have you, you have choices!".  It caught my attention as a very powerful and empowering statement.

It is only when you decide to give yourself away that you loose the power to choose.

Priority

"Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we're scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don't have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own 'to do' list." by Michelle Obama

How high of a priority are you on your 'to-do' list? Are you even on it? Make sure you are on the top of it!

Be vigilant of your personal well being (mental, physical and emotional). This applies to everyone, men and women. Keeping your personal balance will help you go through life with ease. :)

Unwind

How do you wind down at night after a busy, taxing day? Or do you not even take the time? As you can imagine it is very beneficial to you and your health to unwind. The more often, the better.  But let's start with little steps. What works for you?

Though this may be very individual, here are 3 different things that help me wind down:
1. Loving and snuggling with my dogs. Their unconditional love is always soothing and relaxing.
2. Listen to relaxation/meditation/new age music. While I am working on the computer or blogging, I listen to this type of music in the background. It too does the trick by making me feel more centered and whole.
3. Meditate. Find a comfortable place where you can be in silence and be uninterrupted. Take deep breaths, close your eyes, and clear your mind. Find your center.

Find out what works for you and start integrating it into your daily routine.  :)

Giving Others Space And Time

Just as you need space sometimes, so do others. Formal and informal coaching/mentoring/counseling helps people gain clarity, new perspectives and deeper awareness.  The person then needs space and time to absorb, integrate and/or modify this new state of being. It is important to give that space/time.

Though you may want to help and have the best intentions, everyone needs to walk their own path and no two paths are the same. What works for you may or may not be applicable for the next person. Giving the space/time helps the recipient walk their own path as they wish.  :)

Crutches

The last threads were pulled out of my eye today and it was instant relief from the constant irritation. When you have a wound, 'crutches' can help (in this case it was stitches).  Even crutches though, at some point, are not useful anymore.  As you heal you are able to function again on your own.

The same goes for emotional wounds. Take time today to look at your emotional crutches and evaluate whether you still need them or if they have become an irritating nuisance. People are creatures of habit and you sometimes forget that you are using crutches. Become aware of them and thankfully let them go if they have served their purpose.  :)

Action

Some days you have situations where all the tools you have accumulated go completely out the window. At that point you simply trust your gut and go for it.

Sure, once the storm has passed your tools come back to you and you start thinking that you could have/should have done such and such.  The reality though is that you cannot control everything in life. Sometimes you do react and that too is ok. It is even liberating at times.

Whatever the outcome, know that you did the best you could given the situation and, as always, be kind with yourself.  You are "only" human after all and you can respond to the situation further once your tools do come back to you.

I See You

Everyone, children included, want to be seen and honored for who they are. No one wants to be belittled, oppressed, or broken. As the saying goes: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Everyone is important. Everyone matters, no matter how young or old. After all, we are all one.

If you start truly "seeing" the essence of everyone you interact with and honor it, everyone involved will be in a better place.

Sleep

"Sleep is the best meditation." by the Dalai Lama

I had to smile when I saw this quote. See? You do know how to meditate and you do it everyday! Make sure you get enough sleep tonight and every night.  It is balm for the soul.  :)

Negative Thought Removal

How do you get rid of negative thoughts?

1. Become aware that you are thinking negative thoughts.
2. STOP the thought in its tracks.  Maybe even visualize a big red stop sign!
3. Hit the mental DELETE button.  Say the word out loud, or choose another that works for you such as erase, cancel, etc. Do say it out loud. It makes is more real and tangible, enforcing the removal process both on the physical and etheric planes.
4.a. Fill the space with something positive, such as a positive thought, or envision your mind being full of sunshine, or love, or whatever works for you.
4.b. Or you can turn the negative thought into a positive. So instead of fighting it you can see it as an opportunity, a challenge you can master and then work toward it.
5. Breathe a breath of peace and enjoy the positivity!

Curve Balls

Isn't it interesting how there are days where one curve ball after another is thrown at you?  Those lovely curve balls are gifts from the universe, a little test to see how far you have come in staying centered.

Here are three steps you can follow when you find you are having such a day:

1. This is your chance to see how well you can stay centered in real like, not just in you head. See it as such and get ready to play.  Bring it on!

2. Handle one ball at a time. Choose the one that is closest to you and focus on it alone.  To do this ask for help from God/angels/your spiritual support system/etc. to clear your energetic field, to give you focus and to back you up.  They will be your support team!

3. Get ready to swing it out of the park.  With your support system in place and total focus you are ready to handle anything.  Be true to who you are, bat from the heart and all will be fine.  :)

Be Your Own Hero

The following lyrics from Katy Perry's song called 'Roar' stood out to me today: "I went from zero to my own hero."

Anyone who is on the path of self discovery has encountered some form of this simple expression. Being your biggest supporter and cheerleader often does not come naturally to you as a grown up. Relearning how to do so and to love yourself is part of finding your way back to you, to your core, to your place of peace.

Dedicate today to you.  Celebrate you.  Be your own hero.  :)

Technology vs. Human Interaction

Because of cell phones and email, it is becoming easier and easier to avoid human contact. While it is very time efficient and fast, you loose the personal element.

Today I needed to drop off paperwork at school, which I could have done electronically, ie via email.  I chose to go to school though because I wanted to thank some people in person too for help they had given me and simply touch base.  In the process I gained important information that I wouldn't have obtained otherwise. Time well spent.

So the insight is to enjoy technology and to remember to enjoy people too!  Keep the balance alive!

Certainty & Clarity

"More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity." by Francois Gautier

What do you search for when you are looking for certainty?  Proof? Data?

What about when you are looking for clarity? Understanding? Vision? The ability to see the whole picture?

Two different approaches. Clarity definitely feels more peaceful and complete.  :)

Reminder

Healing takes time.  As I am recovering from eye surgery and it is healing really well, it still takes time. It is a reminder to be patient and supportive with yourself. It is a reminder to rest when you need rest. It is a reminder to appreciate health and all the blessings you experience everyday.

You don't need to be recovering from surgery to do these simple things that make your everyday a better day. Breathe deeply, listen to your body, be grateful, loving and open to life.  Be present, be the beautiful soul that you are now and every day.  :)