Step Out Of Conflicts

When you feel that someone wants to start an argument or you have already been sucked into having an argument know that you always have a choice to discontinue being a part of it.

Here are some suggestions on how to disentangle yourself:

1. Become conscious of the situation and mentally step out of your emotion.  Become the observer.
2. Keep your energy to yourself.  Don't feed any more words or actions to this drama.
3. Instead of arguing your side, ask questions like, 'what makes you say that?', 'what makes you feel this way?', etc.  Put the focus on the other person.  Something is triggering them.  Figuring that out might help you understand why you were triggered too.  Stick to questions and no answers.
4. If that fails, you can always choose to end the interaction and walk away.  Be open to talking again when the drama subsides.

Repetition

A lot of my postings have given suggestions on how to center yourself.  What is also important to know is that it takes constant repetition and continual conscious effort to do so until it becomes second nature to you.  

Also keep the faith that it will become as natural as breathing to you the more you practice it.  Don't give up if it doesn't happen as quickly as you would like.  Every time you center is one step closer to you living in your light.  :)

Acceptance

Where are you at when it comes to accepting ALL aspects of you?  It is easy to accept the ones you perceive as likable and are your strong suits, but what about the ones you are not so fond of, the ones that are hiding in the shadows?  How do you feel about bringing them to the light and learning to accept them as you do the others?

By learning to embrace and accept the aspects that are currently hidden, you expand and bring balance to who you are.  What you may have perceived as a weakness in you has aspects of strength too.  It is all in the eye of the beholder.

Self Induced Stress

A couple of months ago, my youngest said something that struck me profoundly...  It was in the morning and we were running late.  I tried to hurry him along to no avail.  His calm demeanor prevailed as he said to me: "Mom, it doesn't matter if I hurry or not.  We always get to school on time anyway."

It stopped me dead in my tracks as I realized that he was right!  We always did make it on time.  The only difference was that I was stressed and he was not!  It did not change the result.  I was choosing to be stressed.

In the following weeks I choose to see and live life from his perspective in the morning.  I learned that stress can be totally self induced, because of perceptions and principals we set for ourselves.  I wasn't stressed anymore and he continued to be calm and get to school on time.

I noticed too that it applied to a lot of different aspects in life.  Things need to get done, but I was putting extra pressure on myself.  Letting go of that added stress was quite freeing and led to greater focus and more energy to get what needed to get done done.

Next time you feel pressured and/or stressed, take a moment to see how much of that feeling is self induced. Then, if needed and wanted, choose to let the self induced stress go.  It does make life easier and more enjoyable.  :)

Embracing Your Intuition

Here is an excerpt from "Living in the Light" by Shakti Gawain that caught my attention today:

"Our culture's entire value system is firmly based on the belief that the rational principle is superior and, in fact, constitutes the highest truth.  The Western Scientific tradition has become our religion.  We are taught from a young age to try to be reasonable, logical, and consistent, to avoid emotional, irrational behavior, and to suppress our feelings.  At best, feelings and emotions are considered foolish, weak, and bothersome.  At worst, we fear they may threaten the very fabric of civilized society." ..." In our worship of the rational and fear of the nonrational, we deny not only our emotions and our instinctual energies, such as sexuality and aggression, but also our natural intuitive sense, which is meant to be a primary guiding force in our lives."

How much do you trust your intuition?  Having been trained as an engineer, I very much relate to this.  Logic and rational thinking ruled my world.  There comes a point though where this is not enough.  Something major was missing.  I became depressed and despondent.  The only way out of this bleak state (other than drugs) was to open myself to intuition, to learn about the irrational, the emotions, the mystical and the spiritual.  My world started filling with color again and my bond to Nature grew strong.

The more I trust my inner guidance the more alive I am.  Logic is a big part of my life too.  They are not mutually exclusive.  They actually go together very well, which may seem paradoxical, but isn't.  Just one of the mysteries of life that you simply have to experience.  :)

Embrace your intuition.  It will add a whole new lively dimension to your life.

Body And Beauty

Do you believe you are beautiful just as you are?  Do you love every external asset AND flaw of yourself?

Today spend some time really examining your body in a kind way.  Use all your senses and pamper your body.  Talk/think positively about it.  Touch, see, feel every finger and toe, every part with a loving heart. Thank all parts for what they do for you everyday and for all they have done.  Be loving to all of it (that includes wrinkles, fat, cellulite, moles, etc.!).

Your body is your temple.  Be kind to it and thus be kind to yourself.  This type of exercise helps you become one with yourself too.  Your body is such a big part of you and it gives you so much information as to where you are at and what you need to work on.  Love it with all your might and learn from it.  Become one with it through acceptance/forgiveness and love.  :)

Internal Sorting And Clearing

It's the end of yet another school year, which means that we start going through the kids' closets, revisiting what stays and what goes, what fits and what doesn't.

It is a good practice for you to do the same thing internally.  At certain intervals in time (whatever works best for you) check in with yourself and see what practices have worked for you and which don't anymore.  See what masks/roles you are ready to give up and what is missing.  Make an inventory of where you are at and where you want to be.

Just like it feels great once you get through your closet, you will feel the same lightness when you do internal sorting and clearing.  :)