Grief and the sadness associated with it comes in waves. When you feel it coming, the natural reaction is to brace yourself. You tense up and try to fight the wave. This actually makes the whole process a lot worse. For me, I realized, it was the fear of the pain being too intense and that I wouldn't be able to bear it that kept me paralyzed.
Since I do blog a lot about facing your fears, I took heart, found my courage somewhere, started literally breathing the fear away when it started building and consciously opened myself to the wave of grief that then came. The tears started flowing and the cleansing began. It hurt, yes, but what took me by surprise was that it was 1) not devastating when I didn't fight it and 2) it was actually healing and felt liberating once it had passed.
Every time is becoming a little easier and I am becoming more aware of when I start not wanting to face something, because I start feeling tense and want to run away. I then look at my fear, breathe, tell myself it will be ok and open up to it again. A lot of tears and emotions, but I can feel my heart mending again. I am starting to feel the joy again both with what was and what is now.
No comments:
Post a Comment