Leading By Example

We are models for today's youth.  It is not our words they follow, but our actions and behaviors.

Thus you can see the importance of walking your talk, which is often easier said than done.  I find strength and courage in knowing that every obstacle I overcome, I overcome not just for me, but also for my children.  A precedent is set if you let fear rule you.  What about choosing to face your fears and show your children (indirectly by living it) how to do so?  The last thing any parent wants is to see their children suffer.

When you model all the traits you value and strive towards letting your light shine bright, no matter how hard, your children will know that those traits are all attainable because they saw you at work, they saw you embodying your talk.  They will have a path to follow.  What greater gift can we give our children than to lead by example?

Creative Time

How often do you step outside of your routine to be creative?  To have pure fun?  Making time for your creative side and/or your inner child is very important for your well being.

How do you do this?  Here is my suggestion:

1. Commit to your well being!  Block out 2 hours once a week for yourself.
2.  Make this commitment a top priority!
3. During these two hours do something you would not usually do during that time, something that stimulates your senses, that is fun, creative,unusual, unexpected, out of character, playful, colorful, exciting, adventurous, etc.  Something like going to an art gallery, exploring a new trail, playing with finger paints, anything that will give you new ideas, spark new interests, take you outside of your everyday life.  Think of things you might have always wanted to do but never got to and just do them.

It is that simple.  Just make that one small commitment.  It will rock your world and fill it with sparkling energy!!!  Have FUN!  You are worth it!

Non Verbal Communication

Did you know that 90% of what you convey to others is not through words, but through actions?  Actions in this case don't have to be 'active' in the traditional sense.  they can be a look or a smile or simply your focused intent and attention.

Here is an example:  Today I was sitting in a chair and one of my dogs was on the bed across the room.  He looked at me and started to wag his tail.  I looked back at him without a word and just smiled (no other moves were involved).  His face was so soft and cute that I felt my heart reaching out to him with that smile.  His tail started wagging harder.  I did not move but keep eye contact and sent my love to him.

At that moment my other dog started getting nervous (he is an attention seeker).  He kept looking from me to the other dog, ran to me, jumped on the bed and looked at the other dog and came back to me.  I didn't break eye contact with the dog on the bed.  Finally it all was too much or too intense for him.  He jumped back on the bed and started growling at the other dog, who was completely unfazed by him, didn't even lift his head.

I don't think I have ever experienced a non verbal interaction so intently.  It is amazing how much transpires without words.  All of us were communicating very clearly.  To me it was astonishing how just a smile and a look can provoke so much reaction.

Take time today to pay attention to non verbal interactions.  So much happens on the subtle level!!!

The 3 C's of Life

"The 3 C's of life: choices, chances, and changes.  You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change." by Unknown Author.

The amazing truth about this statement is that you HAVE a choice!  Taking responsibility for your life is the key.  It is all in your power.  Make your choice, take a chance and be the change.  :)

Two Choices

"Every morning you have two choices: Continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase your dreams."  by Unknown Author

Simple but true...  Which choice do you make each morning?  How do you choose to live your life?

It takes courage to chase your dreams.  The great news is that courage lives in all of us.  Sometimes we just need to find it again. :)

Reach for the stars

Reach for the stars...or at least reach beyond your normal limits.  Why?  To keep life interesting and to grow.  Think of something you have been avoiding, because it is outside your comfort zone.  Focus on it and just do it.  Take a leap, jump into the cold water and before you know it you are swimming - somehow!

These past two months I have been quite consistently reaching outside of my comfort zone.  Following are my top ten reasons as to why you might want to reach for the stars:

1. You don't get anywhere by not trying!
2. When you put your mind to something you might just surprise yourself at how competent you are!
3. It is amazing how much you avoid for so long, but once you do it, it becomes trivial and easy to do!
4. Reaching and stretching outside your comfort zone expands your reality.
5. You gain confidence.
6. You become more self reliant.
7. It expands your resources and you become more resourceful and creative.
8. Productivity goes hand in hand with reaching for the stars.
9. Your dreams start becoming a reality.
10. Stars become a daily part of your life.  :)

Take the leap!  Stretch your boundaries today!

Sleep

Getting proper rest is vital for all self-help work.  Are you getting enough sleep?  Do you know what your ideal daily rest time is?  How much sleeping time do you need to function at your best?

Take some time over the next week to track your sleeping habits:
1. Record how many hours you sleep each night and during the day (if you nap)
2. At the end of the day evaluate how your day went and how much you believe the amount of sleep contributed to your day.
3. At the end of the week look at your results and start getting a feel for how many hours are ideal for you.

Having trouble sleeping?  Everybody has times where you can't fall asleep (again).  It can be quite frustrating at times.  Nevertheless, start viewing this time as a gift.  It is free time you can use to meditate, pray, center, work on breathing exercises, focus on gratitude!  Give it a try.  It has a very calming effect and is conducive to helping you get back to sleep.  :)

Surrender

Sometimes, no matter how hard you work at finding solutions to problems, there just seem to be none.  Or there are things that are just completely out of your control.  We all have days like that.

On those days surrender to what is happening.  The harder you fight it the worse it gets.  And you will totally exhaust yourself.  Accept it without resistance and see where it goes, see where it takes you.  Take on a new perspective:  Be the observer keeping in mind that there is a lesson or multiple lessons in this situation for you.  It is a learning opportunity that you are presented with.  The key is to find it.

If you can't see it, don't worry about it.  Continue to surrender to it.  Find your inner light, your inner safe space and take a break and a deep breath.  Trust that all is happening for a reason and that your are simply not privy to the big picture at the moment.

Regroup in this safe space and focus on what is truly important to you about this situation.  When things get crazy it is easy to forget what your core values are and what your initial core intent really was.

The most important thing is truly to stop fighting whatever is happening.  When you are working that hard against something you are not in the flow of life.  Somehow you have gotten off track.  Surrendering is the first step to realigning.

Happiness Exercise

What makes you happy?

Take a piece of paper and write down times when you have been truly happy.  No matter how big or small, list as many as you can, without analyzing or judging.

Once you are done with this step, look at your list and see if there is a common thread between each.  What were the circumstances?  Who were you with?  What made you happy?  Where did the happiness come from?  Was it dependent on someone or something else?  Did it come from within you?

How would you describe your happiness feeling?  For example, recently I felt it as a effervescent bubbling flowing upward, making me feel giddy and giggly.  It can take many different forms.  List some of the ones you have experienced.

Get familiar with that feeling and with its source(s).  This is a great place to start when you want to increase happiness in your life.  Have fun with it!  That is what happiness is all about after all.  :)

Quiet Moment

Today has been an extraordinarily busy day.  As I sat down tonight to write today's blog, I had so many things rushing through mind that I could not focus on anything.  I finally got up and sat down in a different room, closing the door without really thinking of what I was doing.

As I was sitting there, I realized that unconsciously I gave myself a moment of complete silence and peace, a moment to breathe and let the day go.  Just what I needed.  It took a grand total of 3 minutes to feel centered again.  What a wonderful time investment.

So when you are stuck, or in a rut, or your life is passing by to fast, or you feel there is not enough time, take a time out and make space for a quiet moment.  Give yourself 3 minutes to find yourself again.  Give yourself permission to just be.  Realign your energies and let your day flow in peace and harmony again.  You will be glad you did!  :)

Character vs Reputation

"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, because your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are."   — John Wooden

I love this quote.  Focusing on who you are is the only thing that really matters when following your path.  People will come and go.  In the end, the only person you have to live with is yourself.  Make time to know what your values are, what is important to you, what are your strengths. Then make all these parts of you a priority in your everyday life.

Let your light shine.  :)

Energetic Void

When you clear and/or release an emotion, do an energetic clearing, or shift your energies in any way, you create an energetic void.  It is good practice to fill it with a positive energy, such as Love and White Light.

Often we feel relief or some lightness naturally when we go through such changes, which is also positive, but not always the case.  Consciously adding Universal Love to the change occurring augments the positive change and fills the void.  Take a minute to visualize your whole self being filled with this Love.  Feel it going into every space, every cell and fiber.  Revel in it and be filled by it.  :)

This visualization can be used anytime, not just when you are shifting!  It's benefits are always instantaneous, like a balm for the soul.

Energetic Separation

If you want to energetically separate yourself from another person, use this visualization:

In your mind's eye see yourself and the person you want to separate from.  Once you can hold the image of both, visualize white light (protective light) around each figure.  I usually visualize a column of white light around each person.  They do not touch.

Face the person and ask them if there are any gifts he/she wants to give you and have him/her give it/them to you.  In return you do the same.  These can take any form.  It can be something that the person had that belonged to you or vice versa, or love you weren't given physically, or something symbolic that has meaning for you or them. It can be anything.  Just let it happen, let it flow.  And remember it is a two way street.

When the exchange is done and it feels complete to you, pull up a divider between the two of you.  I like to visualize a purple energy screen.  If that color doesn't feel right I work with pink or gold.  I have also worked with green and the violet flame.  Feel what is right for you.  This is when you separate the energies and move on.  

All of this is done in a loving, safe space.  Remember you are not dealing with the physical person, but their Higher Self as well as your Higher Self.  Feel your way through the visualization and remember, these are guidelines.  Trust what comes to you and change things accordingly.

I have had wonderful results every time I have used this technique.  I hope you do too.

Your vision of you

If you were to state who the ideal you is, who would that be?  Take a few minutes to really think about who you will be when you "graduate" from the school of life.  What hurdles do you need to overcome?  What is the common lesson you are facing continually?  What would your 'degree' be called when you graduate?  

Take a piece of paper and a pen and actually write it down.  Have fun with it!  See yourself as a graduate.  Add your cake at the end too!!!  Ask your guides for a present.  When you reach your ideal state, when you have worked through your main lessons, what do you want your prize to be?  Think as big as you want.  There are no limits and no limitations.  Open yourself to your dreams and achieve them!

Reacting vs. Responding

Whenever you get upset, angry or annoyed, often times the underlying cause is a feeling of helplessness, of being out of control and thus NOT in control.  Instead of getting lost in the emotion, you have the choice to get back into the driver's seat and here is how:

1. Ask yourself: "Why am I really mad?".  These type of emotions are triggered.  Something about the situation you are in triggers an insecurity in you.  What is that insecurity?  Seldom, if ever, is the event at hand the true reason you are angry. This step gives you insight into why you react the way you do.

2. Once you see the cause you can look at the situation from a new perspective.  At this point ask yourself: "What can I do to make myself feel better about this situation?"  You are not looking for temporary relief, such as screaming at the other person, but for a larger solution that is congruent with who you are at the core.  This step step empowers you.  Often times anger comes from a place of feeling helpless and not in control.  

3. Now instead of reacting you are in a position to respond to the situation and/or person.  You will find that this is a much calmer and more centered way of approaching life.  

And don't forget, when you are seeing red and thinking seems to have bypassed you, BREATHE and count to ten.  Once a little calmer or at least a bit distracted start at step 1.   :)

Little miracles

As I was driving home I got to see an incredible sunset.  The sun was behind the mountains and what you could see of the sky was a deep pink, the rest was cloud covered and dark grey.  Somehow, two of the peaks had conical shaped shadows shooting up into the sky.  I have never seen anything of the sort.

It was one of those moments you are overcome by awe and everything else becomes small and insignificant.  I felt blessed to be a witness to that one moment in time.  Moments like these are like small miracles and the beauty is that they are all around you when you are open to them, when you are ready to let them in and receive them.

Expect them and look for them.  And let yourself be surprised.  :)

True to your heart

"If you can react the same way to winning and loosing, that is a big accomplishment.  That quality is important because it stays with you the rest of your life." Chris Evert

As I am completing a "Fundamentals on Coaching" class to be able to coach High School tennis, I came across the aforementioned quote today that caught my attention.  It made me think about how the journey is so much more important than the outcome, how the lessons you learn along the way can be so much more enriching than the final result.

It is so easy to become engrossed in winning, or making a ton of money, or being a high state official, or whatever the most coveted prize is to you, that you loose focus of what is happening along the way.  You start loosing touch with your life and all those in it.

If you are balanced within yourself then the final outcome is not the most important thing.  Every step you take, if taken with conscious integrity, will be the right one for you and your life.  Each step is a win within itself.  Then, in the end, winning or loosing becomes a 'by-product' with "minimal" impact.  You know you have given it your all and no matter what you have grown as a person.

I love this concept.  Whether in sports or in everyday life make sure you are being true to yourself.  No matter what the external outcome is you will always be at peace.

Flow of Expansion

To me, one of the main reasons for expanding your awareness, living your light, and being centered is to make space for your passion, joy and creativity.  Once you start removing self created obstacles you start being free to remember your dreams, to rediscover your passions, to create a new, joy filled reality for yourself.

Ideas start to flow as you open yourself to all possibilities.  Your cannot's turn into can do's, your never turns into a maybe/why not?/yes!  Doors that were shut before start opening and you start thinking: what if...  During this process you also become more playful and adventurous.  The world becomes your playground and you are the grand magician.  :)

Chakras

Chakras are energy centers or energy organs within each person.  Every person has hundreds of chakras.  All living beings have chakras, including the earth.  Note that there are many different chakra systems by different peoples.  Modern derivative chakra systems usually outline 7 chakras.

Here are two chakra definitions found in "The Subtle Body - An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy" by Cyndi Dale: 
1. Based on analyses of the word chakra: "A chakra is a circular-shaped energy body that directs life energy for physical and spiritual well-being." 
2. Synthesized definition of chakras from a scientific point of view: "Chakras are energy transformers, capable of shifting energy from a higher to a lower vibration and vice versa."

The chakras can be visualized as a pair of conical vortices emanating from the front and the back of the body, centered in the spine.  Usually the 7 chakras are placed along the spine as follows:

First chakra        At the bottom of the spine
Second chakra    Abdomen
Third chakra       Solar Plexus
Fourth chakra     Heart
Fifth chakra        Throat
Sixth chakra        Forehead (middle) - Third eye
Seventh chakra    In the top of the head

Generally, the function of the chakras is to transfer energy from the subtle body to the physical body.  So chakras take energy in, 'translate it' for the physical body to be able to receive, and then send it to the physical body.  The translated energy is distributed in the physical body through the nadis (prana or life force energy conductors), that in turn are connected to the physical nervous system.  Each chakra is usually associated with an endocrine gland.

Nearly every cultural chakra system considers the chakras a vital part of an enlightenment or spiritualization process.  Chakras don't only vitalize our physical body, they also bring about the development of self consciousness and transmit spiritual energy in order to bring the individual into a state of spiritual being.

To Be

What it is like to just be?  Do you ever simply sit in silence with no thought, no guilt, no pressure?  Have you ever tried?

As a young adult, I remember often times sitting in my room doing and thinking absolutely nothing and loving it.  Ten years ago when I started finding my soul path I had to relearn to empty my mind the way I used to naturally a long time ago to simply be. 

My path back to beingness was through nature.  I started taking walks, which I used to find very boring.  To get myself to exercise, I started listening to books on tape, which kept my mind busy while being outdoors.  While body and mind were busy, somehow my inner stillness (=beingness) started growing.  I know this sounds contradictory, but nonetheless very true. 

After a couple of months, I felt a strong inner need to drop the earphones and to start opening my senses not only to what I saw, but also to what I heard and felt.  Winter had descended on Iowa and snow was all around.  It was bitter cold (-30F), but nevertheless I went for my walk.  I had subconsciuosly started craving the beauty, the stillness and the wholeness I felt being in nature completely alone.  The absolute quiet, the untouched sparkling snow in the rising sun, the shadows of barren trees, and the appearance of a cardinal, filled me with unparalleled joy.  The simplest, most mundane things looked like miracles seen for the first time.  My awareness had grown without me realizing it.

That is the power of nature.  It seeps into you.  Winter went to spring followed by summer and fall.  Each season bringing new beauty and new lessons.  It is a never ending gift.  We are a part of it and it is a part of us.  Open yourself to nature and see how it can fully complete you.  Every time I am in nature my batteries recharge, my system feels cleansed and my spirits are high.  And most of all I am again able to just be.

Believing eyes

When you are embracing new realities your world changes.  While you may feel in every cell of your body that this is taking you into the right direction, it is still new to you, like new shoes that need to be broken in.  Sometimes it is an easy transition.  Larger changes though may need longer and leave you feeling vulnerable and insecure.  That's when doubt and fear can start seeping in.  It is just the way it is.

For this reason it is important to have at least one set of believing eyes, which means a person who believes in you and the change(s) you are going through.  Someone who can hold the light for you, when it feels like it is dimming or going out.  Someone who can see the change(s) in you and encourages you to keep going.  Someone who checks up on you and makes sure you are alright.

Today I want to thank my believing eyes out there!  You know who you are.  THANK YOU.  :)

Gratitude

A wonderful way to start and end your day is by expressing gratitude.  It doesn't have to take long and may just be a few words.  Taking a few minutes to consciously focus on something positive shifts your whole state of being into higher vibrating frequencies.

Committing to writing even just one sentence in the morning and/or evening on a daily basis can change your life.  Keep a separate journal for it and make it a ritual.  Experience how powerful this little exercise can be.

Coincidence?

I don't believe in coincidences anymore.  I do believe coincidences are synchronistic manifestations, events we help to create through our thoughts and intentions.  The Universe/God/etc. (fill in whatever term you are most comfortable with) is our co-creator in these 'coincidences'.  I think of coincidences as a 'two way communication/interaction' between you and God.

Sometimes coincidences are answers to requests/prayers, other times they are confirmations, other times they are occurrences that are supposed to make you think, encourage you or redirect your path.

Today I received a weekly newsletter from another coach, whom I greatly respect and admire.  My mouth dropped open when I read the first few words of his newsletter: 'When the going gets tough...', which were the exact words I used on yesterday's blog.

This hit me instantly as an affirmation and encouragement from above that I am doing the right thing and that I am on the right path.  This confirmation couldn't have come at a better time.  Coincidence? Maybe, but what are the odds?

The next time you run into a coincidence, take a minute to see if there is maybe something in it for you?

When the going gets tough...

When the going gets tough, what do you do?  Everyone has days where you doubt yourself, doubt what you are doing, what you are feeling, where you are heading.  When this happens and you feel overwhelmed, what do you do?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Realize you are overwhelmed.  Stop and breathe.
2. Refocus.  Take 'inventory' of all you have accomplished in the last week or month.  Get a feel for all the steps you have taken.  Write them down - this is important!  The act of writing gives the thoughts physical form, which helps you own it.
3. Revisit what your goal and/or vision is.  Why are you doing this?  Are you on track?  Is the goal/vision still valid for you?  Does it still resonate with you in your gut?  Is it all still valid for you or do you need to revisit it?  Odds are that if your vision is aligned with your life purpose it will still be right for you.  If not then redefine and redesign it to align with your life purpose.
4. If you are on track, the final step is to trust.  Trust that you are doing the right thing, trust that you can do it, trust that you are on the right path, and finally trust in God/the Universe/the Greater Consciousness/etc.

Rumi

Today I would like to share a quote by Rumi, a 13th century Persian poet and Sufi mystic:

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

Be clear that love can be both outside and inside of you. Your inner light equals love. When you remove the barriers you are giving yourself permission to love yourself and once you are able to love yourself you open the doors to receiving love. AND since like attracts like, you will attract love. :)

Perspective 2

How do you see me?  What do you see when you look at me? Who am I to you?

These are very interesting questions to ask of someone you respect, care for, and know very well if you want to find out how you are viewed by someone else, if you want to gain a broader view of yourself, an additional perspective.  Before you do this though, be sure that:

1. You are truly open for the feedback.
2. You don't judge the feedback.
3. You don't judge yourself!
4. You can be an observer.

View this as an expansion exercise.  This is information you are gathering to give you a different point of view, a different perspective.  By being the observer you can see the grains of truth that do apply to you, that in your heart of hearts you know are things you can build and improve on.  Take these grains for what they are - a gift.  Then, when you are ready, use them and apply them, if and when you feel it is appropriate. 

Don't get hung up in the details of what is being said but look for the essence.  Whatever touches you is the essence of what is being said.

Perspective

My children continue to be a source of inspiration for me.  At times, like today, they radiate pure joy and I feel so blessed when I get to experience it.  Despite the teenage insecurities, they are still more in touch with their inner child than somebody who is older, generally speaking. 

Experiencing their joy and excitement made me think of all the times they have taught me how to get back in touch with that inner state of being.  Seeing the world through their eyes from the day they were born gave me a whole new perspective.  The littlest things brought them happiness.  Whether it was an empty box, or a worm, or a flower, or discarded wrapping paper, their glee was contagious.  It helped me get in touch with my inner child again, that I had completely forgotten.  I learned to appreciate and enjoy the little things.

Photography has that effect on me too.  You see the world from a different perspective.  Even though I take the pictures, I am looking at the world through a lens, a different type of 'eye'.  It makes me step outside my perspective and see a new perspective.

New perspectives are essential for change and awareness expansion.  Try to see the world through other people's eyes.  Especially little ones are wonderful teachers.  Nature is also a wonderful teacher that can give you even more perspectives.  If you ever need inspiration or a shift in energy look for a new perspective.  Be in the presence of younger people.  You don't even have to interact with them.  Just observe and see what they see without judgement.  It is an amazing experience.

Get organized

When you are starting to expand your awareness, one of the best things to do to support this goal is to get your surroundings organized, sorted and/or cleaned out.  Your home is often a reflection of your state of emotions/mind.  Are you the type of person that shoves stuff into the closet (out of sight out of mind)?  Do you have piles throughout the house?  Is your house spotless?  Are you a minimalist?

There is no good or bad answer here.  Everyone has something they want to organize, rearrange, do better.  What is important is to think about what you have been avoiding to do, what is it in your life that you are ignoring on the physical plane in your environment but that is there in the background begging to be looked at, begging to be worked on.  Start there.

Make a specific time commitment to yourself, whether it is 5, 10, 30 or 60 minutes a day, to do what you have been avoiding to do.  It can be as simple as starting to clean out a drawer, or the pile on the kitchen counter, or the basement (my favorite...), anything you have been meaning to do but haven't gotten too or more likely have been ignoring because it seems to be too overwhelming a task.

Then stick to this plan.  Do it for a month and see what it does for you.  From an energetic standpoint, by clearing/organizing your physical space you are making room for change in yourself too.  You are creating new, free space for energy to flow into.  By changing your physical environment you are also changing your energetic patterns.  The flow works both ways.