When you have to make the decision to let a loved one go, in my case my beloved dog, it doesn't matter what you choose - feelings of guilt will always enter your mind and heart. You will start to wonder and ponder all you have done or not done, dissect all the choices you have made and judge yourself for it. This causes incredibly unbearable pain, helplessness and despair that is mostly self induced. There is never a clear cut perfect answer to such a complex decision and the reality of it all is that you did the best you could in the moment based on all the experiences you have accumulated throughout your life and your gut feel.
No matter how pure your intentions, the little nagging voice still appears. The best thing you can do is to leave the past in the past, forgive yourself for anything you might have done better and praise yourself for the courage you have shown and the good you have done. When you clear out this cloud of self judgement, you can start getting centered again and facing the physical loss of the one you loved as well as feeling their new energy form. I can feel my buddy with me and I am thankful for his presence. While I was in the cloud of self judgement I couldn't sense him. While I miss his physical presence terribly, I do find comfort in his energetic presence. Though I know his energy won't be here forever (he does need to move on too) it does ease the pain of the sudden loss and it is balm for my shattered heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment