Benefit

If you are reluctant and/or resistant to change a situation that you know you need to change, or you are 'trying' to change it but it doesn't seem to change, odds are that you are still holding on to the situation because there is a benefit in it for you as perceived by you.

Ask yourself: "What am I getting out of this situation, what benefit? If you answer: "There is none", ask yourself: "If I were to guess, what would be the benefit?"

Obviously you are not consciously choosing the situation, so it may take deeper digging to get to the bottom of it. When you accept that there is a benefit in it for you, it gets easier to become conscious of what it is. Once you find the answer you can make a conscious choice as to whether you are OK with the situation as is or if you really want to change it.